Here are some actual label instructions from various international consumer products:

On a blanket from Taiwan:
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. (Bugger, what am I gonna use now???)

On a helmet-mounted mirror used by American cyclists:
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

On a Taiwanese shampoo:
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

On the bottle-top of a British flavoured milk drink:
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

On a New Zealand insect spray:
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

In an American guide to setting up a new computer:
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

On a packet of American Sunmaid raisins:
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

On an American Sears hairdryer:
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

On a bag of American Fritos-brand Corn Chips:
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter's special!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

On British Sainsbury's peanuts:
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

On a Canadian child's Superman costume:
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.

On some British frozen dinners:
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
FITS ONE HEAD.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

On a British Boot's "Children's" Cough Medicine:
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

On a British Nytol Sleep Aid Tablets label:
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

On British Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING./p>

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